You Know When You Match

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you wear matching outfits with an 8th grader...on purpose.

You know when you're the wife of a youth pastor when you feel like you must explain certain outfits to the ladies at morning Bible Study, "I have youth group tonight, that's why I'm wearing...." Not that I've ever done this....

A few weeks ago, one of our students told me, "I got new Converse--they are orange!" I told her, "I have orange Converse!" Then, it was almost as we didn't even have to finish our thought--we both knew we had the same t-shirt...and we knew what had to be done. "Let's Match!"  Yea! It was fun and I felt special and loved. I hope she did, too.

You Know When You Adult

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you go to an adult Sunday School class...for the second time since You were in highschool yourself!
A few years ago, I signed up for an Adult Sunday School elective class and I was absent from the High School class for about 8 weeks. It was my first time to be with peers in this setting since I was in higschool! It was refreshing, challenging and I really enjoyed my time reading, thinking and sharing thoughts through a book on missions.
A few weeks ago, I was asked by the leader if I would consider joining the elective class again--this time for a book on prayer. It had been a few years and he told me he appreciated what I brought to the discussion. 
I was excited to attend, but also torn to leave 'my girls' I see on Sunday Mornings.  After talking with Nathan, I decided to attend half-time for the next 13 weeks of the class.  This way I can keep a foot in both worlds.  Turns out, Nathan appreciates my comments and input in his class as well.  
I saw a few high-school ladies before Sunday School and I told them, "I won't be in Sunday School this morning, so if any of you get boyfriends between now and youth group tonight, you have to tell me."  Deal.  
I think it will be ok if I branch out for the next few months.

You Know When You Get a Massage

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you consider a shirt-signing as good as a professional back rub.

Not that I have much to compare with. I've had one professional massage and I won it through a TV contest.  I had an amazing massage with a nice masseuse who was a also a mom and Nathan got a didn't-know-he-had-such-a-small-personal-space massage with a crunchy lady named Luna. But, that's another story.

Last week I was on the High School Mission Trip to Bliss, Idaho. We headed to this tiny town, population 318 (including the cows and goats from what I hear) to put on a "Mega Sport Camp" with soccer and VBS.  It was an amazing week with more stories of God's goodness than I could ever record. (Come this Sunday, July 24th, to the 6pm service at EBC to hear some of them--and to see photos!)

Here I am at my 'post'

My 'post' during the club was the registration table and as I was working on the slide show to view at the final closing, the teens started signing camp shirts.  Since I was on a short time allowance and I still had to still trim 23 minutes down to 6 (hey--I started at 56 minutes and was making good progress), I kept working on my slide show while the youth swarmed around me with Sharpies.  It wasn't too long until one came my way--"will you sign my shirt....can I sign yours?"  Absolutely, yes, I will sign yours.

Now, you'd think it would be easy for me to want mine signed in return...but with a stash of 15 mission trip tee's, I actually have always avoided getting my shirt signed.  Not really sure why--maybe it's the whole idea of writing on a brand new tee, or maybe I'm weird about being touched so much....not sure...I'll have to think more on why.

But for the first time, I thought to myself, 'really Kelsey, what's the big deal? Let them sign your shirt.'

So, it started.
And man, oh man.
Why have I waited so long!?
It was like a mini-back rub--that kept coming and coming. 
It felt so wonderful.
Ahh.....
yes, please sign my shirt.

Bummer, I should have started 15 years ago on this shirt signing thing.  Step aside, Luna!

PS-I did finish my slide show and "Mega" (aka Tyler) helped me trim it down to the right length!

 See, everyone is smiling!  It's a good thing!

You Know When You Play

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when even a family trip to the local children's museum becomes a scouting expedition on ways you could improve the youth building.

How cool would this carpet be?  If a spot gets stained...just peel it out and put in a new one!

And a MAGNETIC wall!?! What?!  Way too fun!

You Know When Barbie is Along for the Ride

You know you're a youth pastor's wife when Barbie has been riding along in his truck for a month. 

Our Junior High Youth Group has a strange tradition.  It started years ago and has continued on--some memories are hard to shake!   When we take our group to the snow, a Barbie head always comes along.  She is our 'target' at the bottom of the sled run and sledders aim to knock her over when they get to the bottom of the hill.  Weird, I know--but at least the tradition with the hot-dogs and bananas has been laid to rest--it could be worse.

It had been a year or two since we've had the chance to aim for Barbie (two years ago, Barbie had been lost and last year we had no snow!) but this summer, my son found a Barbie head at a garage sale.  $.25 later we were back in business!  Barbie successfully completed her 2016 mission and has since been riding around on the floor of my husbands truck.  It might seem odd to have her there, but until he takes her out, there she lays.  When I ride along, and see her grinning up at me, I'm reminded of fun times and the power of tradition!

You Know When you live in Reality

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you live in alternate realities.

This last weekend, I had the joy of spending three days with 41 JH Students/Cooks/Staff on a Winter Retreat. It was a blast!  We had one of the greatest group of kids one could imagine--no drama, no dating couples (yeah--that could have impacted the drama level), great attitudes, intense questions and meaningful conversation...I could go on.  But back to the reality part...

People say that working in youth ministry keeps one young.  I'd like to think this is true.  Friday night a few of the girls asked how old I was and I replied, "I don't tell my age, you have to guess." When they guessed my age (based on my youthful appearance of course) a decade younger than my actual age, I hugged them and claimed them as my new BFF's.  One blissful night of living in my alternate reality.

Then. Saturday came.

I heard the voice of a JH boy from across the room, "Mom!.....Mom!...."  I ignored it. Surely, that voice wasn't calling for me.  After all, I recognize the voices of my own children, and that was not either of mine that were there (not that I COULD have my own children in the JH group--you know, being in my 20's and all).  AND I was still reveling in a blissful reality of endless youth...it just wouldn't be possible to have someone to need me as a mom or to call me mom.  But...."Mom!" still came.  Yep, it was for me.  I was needed. As "Mom." It made me smile and I realized, I was perhaps even more happy to play the role of "Mom" for this student for the weekend than to maintain my false idealization of unattainable youth.

Sometimes reality isn't so bad after all.

Here am I participating in a youthful activity this weekend.

Our amazing group!

 With the staff--all young at heart.

You Know When You Fall Asleep

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you fall asleep praying for a student who is on your heart.  

That they will feel the deep, pursing, persistent, overwhelming Love of God.  That they will see that what are are searching for can only be found outside of self.  That they will know the accolades of this world are fickle and fleeting.  That God is perfectly shaped to fill the hole in their heart. That Satan will have no stronghold over this life.  That evil will not win. That they will be reminded of what it feels like to be safe.....that they will know real Love....that they.....zzzzzzz.

You know When You're Slightly Giddy

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you get slightly giddy when students change their facebook profile photos and use a shot you took!  

And a Thanksgiving bonus:  You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you realize you also spend the entire weekend on a retreat doing many amazing, valuable, life changing things-like braiding hair, resolving conflict, taking photos, bandaging boo-boo's, painting nails, driving, asking a million questions--and don't end up in any photos to show you were there or doing anything at all, so you a take a photo with another lady staff who also worked really hard loving on students that weekend and didn't get in any photos and  to finish, you can't seem to keep a reasonable face after 10 hours of total sleep so you the photo you tried hard to get in to won't make any youth slide shows anyway. (I'm on the left) OH well. ;) It's the memories that last anyway. 

You Know With a Rubber Chicken

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when your hubby can find a rubber chicken without any trouble.

My husband slipped out of church to prepare for youth group and as he left,I whispered to him, "For the games I will need two white boards, two markers and the rubber chicken." He replied, "I know right where the chicken is."

You Know With a Mickle

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you expand your vocabulary.

Last night was a 5th Quarter Party at our house. It's a gathering for the high school students after the home football game.  Last night we played a great game called "Wise and Otherwise". It's similar to "Boulderdash" except it uses obscure phrases.  I learned "mickle" and "muckle."  Who knew those were real words!?!? 
Some words I have to 'google' when I see things on facebook and then I am totally scarred for life.  But usually it's all fun and I'm glad to keep learning!

mick·le

ˈmikəl/

SCOTTISHNORTHERN ENGLISHarchaic

noun

1. 1.

   a large amount.

adjective

1. 1.

   very large.

   "she had a great big elephant … that's one of those mickle beasts from Africa"

determiner & pronoun

1. 1.

   much; a large amount.
2. 
   

And many mickle make a muckle!

You Know with "That's Nice."

This just happened.

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he tells you, "I just picked up some raccoon poop from the back yard for an object lesson tonight." And you reply nonchalantly, "That's nice."

True story.

You Know When you Rummage

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when 'hand-me-down's' are tempting.

My JH age daughter got her first bag of 'hand-me-down' clothes from one of our HS students.  It was full of cute tops, dresses, jackets and sweatshirts!

A few items were too big for her and I must admit I did try a sweater on--but I didn't keep it  My daughter told me I was 'too old' to wear something so sparkly.

I'm liking this 'hand-me-down' thing--now, if only they were for me.

 

You Know When You Shoot

You know you're a youth pastor's wife when half of the photos on your computer/phone/camera are of youth ministry students and events.

As I was cleaning out photos on the laptop, I came across a series of photographs that I took of my feet.  A few months back, our youth ministry held a sweatshirt design competition.  The winning student's design featured an image of a pair of Converse shoes.  I was concerned about copyright laws and thought it would be best if I created our own image to use on the sweatshirt.  So, I laced up my Converse, grabbed my camera and started shooting!  About 30 photos later, I finally had 'the one.'  Now that the sweatshirts have successfully been printed and are currently being worn, I figured it was safe to clear off the unused images...now to have the courage to tackle youth photos from 2002. 

Here's the keeper:

Wearing the hoodie 1 mile inside a cave on the HS Senior Class Retreat--dear hubby and I)

My sweet daughter modeling the design

Thanks to Ty B. for the awesome design, to Justin E. for fine tuning/graphic design and Ben B. for the printing!

You Know When they say "I Do."

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you only attend 6 weddings in a season and remember the year you got invited to 15!

You Know When You have Your Own Voice

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he gets sick, you teach his lessons at youth group, and then discover your own voice.

Recently, Nathan got sick over a weekend.  The bug came on quick Thursday afternoon and didn't leave until Monday. I found myself offering to lead both JH and HS youth groups, so he could stay home to rest and heal.  Both times, I found out he was going to take me up on my offer about an hour before youth group was to begin--he always holds out hope that he can make it!

For the Junior High lesson, I took Nathan's outline that he had prepared and did my best to teach from it.  It went ok.  But, I realized it wasn't a topic that I had any current passion for--I delivered the lesson, filled up the proper amount of time, shared relevant life stories and even used the proper object lesson involving vinegar. I was using my mouth, but his voice to teach from God's word.

When Sunday night came around and I realized Nathan wasn't feeling any better, I volunteered again to share with the students. This time I knew that I needed to share from my heart and not just from his lesson plan.  I was able to use the verses that he had chosen for the night, but I put my own twist on it--from what God had been speaking to me over the past few months.  I would sum it up as, "The darker the world, the brighter we shine." I loved every moment of it (well, after the first few minutes of being very nervous) and I'm thankful I had the opportunity to use his theme, yet have my own voice.

Photo: me and my healthy hubby on last week's HS Mission Trip

You Know When you Promise

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you make promises selectively and seriously. 

As a youth pastor wife, there have only been two promises I have made to young ladies in the youth group.

First Promise and a confession: I think toes are ugly.  So, to help them out, I am a proponent of toe rings.  I wear four. Two on my left foot and two on my right foot.  When students notice them, I tell them that I've been wearing the toe ring since before they were born.  And, that if they decide to wear one and still have it on when they are 21 years old,  they are to come back to town, find me and I'll take them out to lunch!  So far, no one has lasted this long, but I have my hopes up for a few certain girls!

Second Promise:  When I hear that a young lady has a desire to become the wife of a youth pastor, I promise to pray for them to have this desire of their heart realized.  When God moves the heart of a young lady to ministry, I feel it is a very special time and a unique calling that God only gives to a few.  Since being a youth pastor wife requires a youth pastor husband, I promise to pray for her as she lives life and waits to see how God will arrange for the special young man to come across her path.

I've been blessed to see young ladies with this desire meet spouses that have a desire to love and serve the Lord in ministry. I'm currently praying for another young woman and I'm excited to see what God will do!

You Know When You Wear Crushed Velvet

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you wear crushed velvet.

Each year on our HS Spring Retreat, the senior class has a chance to share a few words with the underclassmen. One of the seniors shared about how her mom challenged her to think and ask herself, "Will this matter in 20 years?" She often uses this reminder when dealing with different situations that seem overwhelming at the time. She concluded that most things DON'T matter 20 years from now.

Also, it is tradition to have a "Black Tie Dinner" for the evening meal. As I didn't want to purchase a new dress, I decided to dig through what was lurking in the back of the closet.  I found the dress I wore for my homecoming dance when I was a senior in high school! I thought it would be fun to show the HS girls what was being worn 'way back then.'  Guess how long ago?  Yep...20 years ago!

I shared about bringing my 20 year old dress with this senior girl and we had a laugh and a 'wow' at the connection of the concept of "20 years." 

I can't believe it's been 20 years since I wore that dress. Time flies, right!? When I look at the current students, I realize that even with two decades of fashion changes, not much differes when it comes to how a teenage girl feels on the inside. I struggled with many of the same insecurities, hopes, goals and challenges that they face today.  It's comforting to know that some things that seemed too big and insurmountable for my teenage self have either been solved or faded away with the passing of time. 
I look forward to seeing how God continues to grow and mold the young ladies I spent the weekend with, and I pray that in 20 years from now they will have stories of 'overcoming' to share with me.

And now, some photos for your viewing pleasure. 

My friends and I outside my locker during homecoming week. 

  I couldn't find a photo of me wearing my dress to the homecoming dance (maybe that's what happens when you go without a date...no photos).  But I did wear the dress later that year to a church youth group event.  Here's me with my best friend. Notice we are BOTH wearing velvet.

20 years later, realizing some things don't matter and others really do.

You Know When He's Loved

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he's loved by other women.  You know when he's surrounded by beautiful ladies and you are not jealous, but thankful for each of them!

You Know When He Lies

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you're playing the "Liar" card game as a family and he's caught every time. He can't lie to save his life!

You Know When You Read

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you read your local weekly paper and it looks like this when you are finished:

Why? Because you are always tearing out articles that have 'your' kids in them--competing in sports, active in the community and shining in their accomplishments! When you're proud of them and have dear hubby hang them up in the youth room.