You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he gets sick, you teach his lessons at youth group, and then discover your own voice.
Recently, Nathan got sick over a weekend. The bug came on quick Thursday afternoon and didn't leave until Monday. I found myself offering to lead both JH and HS youth groups, so he could stay home to rest and heal. Both times, I found out he was going to take me up on my offer about an hour before youth group was to begin--he always holds out hope that he can make it!
For the Junior High lesson, I took Nathan's outline that he had prepared and did my best to teach from it. It went ok. But, I realized it wasn't a topic that I had any current passion for--I delivered the lesson, filled up the proper amount of time, shared relevant life stories and even used the proper object lesson involving vinegar. I was using my mouth, but his voice to teach from God's word.
When Sunday night came around and I realized Nathan wasn't feeling any better, I volunteered again to share with the students. This time I knew that I needed to share from my heart and not just from his lesson plan. I was able to use the verses that he had chosen for the night, but I put my own twist on it--from what God had been speaking to me over the past few months. I would sum it up as, "The darker the world, the brighter we shine." I loved every moment of it (well, after the first few minutes of being very nervous) and I'm thankful I had the opportunity to use his theme, yet have my own voice.
Photo: me and my healthy hubby on last week's HS Mission Trip
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you make promises selectively and seriously.
As a youth pastor wife, there have only been two promises I have made to young ladies in the youth group.
First Promise and a confession: I think toes are ugly. So, to help them out, I am a proponent of toe rings. I wear four. Two on my left foot and two on my right foot. When students notice them, I tell them that I've been wearing the toe ring since before they were born. And, that if they decide to wear one and still have it on when they are 21 years old, they are to come back to town, find me and I'll take them out to lunch! So far, no one has lasted this long, but I have my hopes up for a few certain girls!
Second Promise: When I hear that a young lady has a desire to become the wife of a youth pastor, I promise to pray for them to have this desire of their heart realized. When God moves the heart of a young lady to ministry, I feel it is a very special time and a unique calling that God only gives to a few. Since being a youth pastor wife requires a youth pastor husband, I promise to pray for her as she lives life and waits to see how God will arrange for the special young man to come across her path.
I've been blessed to see young ladies with this desire meet spouses that have a desire to love and serve the Lord in ministry. I'm currently praying for another young woman and I'm excited to see what God will do!
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you wear crushed velvet.
Each year on our HS Spring Retreat, the senior class has a chance to share a few words with the underclassmen. One of the seniors shared about how her mom challenged her to think and ask herself, "Will this matter in 20 years?" She often uses this reminder when dealing with different situations that seem overwhelming at the time. She concluded that most things DON'T matter 20 years from now.
Also, it is tradition to have a "Black Tie Dinner" for the evening meal. As I didn't want to purchase a new dress, I decided to dig through what was lurking in the back of the closet. I found the dress I wore for my homecoming dance when I was a senior in high school! I thought it would be fun to show the HS girls what was being worn 'way back then.' Guess how long ago? Yep...20 years ago!
I shared about bringing my 20 year old dress with this senior girl and we had a laugh and a 'wow' at the connection of the concept of "20 years."
I can't believe it's been 20 years since I wore that dress. Time flies, right!? When I look at the current students, I realize that even with two decades of fashion changes, not much differes when it comes to how a teenage girl feels on the inside. I struggled with many of the same insecurities, hopes, goals and challenges that they face today. It's comforting to know that some things that seemed too big and insurmountable for my teenage self have either been solved or faded away with the passing of time.
I look forward to seeing how God continues to grow and mold the young ladies I spent the weekend with, and I pray that in 20 years from now they will have stories of 'overcoming' to share with me.
And now, some photos for your viewing pleasure.
My friends and I outside my locker during homecoming week.
I
couldn't find a photo of me wearing my dress to the homecoming dance
(maybe that's what happens when you go without a date...no photos). But
I did wear the dress later that year to a church youth group event.
Here's me with my best friend. Notice we are BOTH wearing velvet.
20 years later, realizing some things don't matter and others really do.
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he's loved by other women. You know when he's surrounded by beautiful ladies and you are not jealous, but thankful for each of them!
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you're playing the "Liar" card game as a family and he's caught every time. He can't lie to save his life!
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you read your local weekly paper and it looks like this when you are finished:
Why? Because you are always tearing out articles that have 'your' kids in them--competing in sports, active in the community and shining in their accomplishments! When you're proud of them and have dear hubby hang them up in the youth room.
You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you are jealous that he is in church and you are not.
Today I'm jealous of my husband.
I love church. I love attending church! I love the people, the encouragement, the challenges, the worship...all of it! I really don't like to miss church, but here I am. at home. missing church. Why? Because I've got a child with a fever who needs to stay at home to heal and rest.
One thing I didn't ever consider is that when my husband and I would have a family--I would be the one to stay home every time a child got sick. There are no taking turns. On a Sunday, I win every who-will-stay-home-with-the-sick-kid-this-time conversation.
I guess this is a good problem to have. I'm thankful that church is a place I want to be. When I miss the fellowship of believers and community time with God, I'm at the same time thankful that I can care for my little ones...and am a little jealous of my husband.
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