You Know When You Fall Asleep

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you fall asleep praying for a student who is on your heart.  

That they will feel the deep, pursing, persistent, overwhelming Love of God.  That they will see that what are are searching for can only be found outside of self.  That they will know the accolades of this world are fickle and fleeting.  That God is perfectly shaped to fill the hole in their heart. That Satan will have no stronghold over this life.  That evil will not win. That they will be reminded of what it feels like to be safe.....that they will know real Love....that they.....zzzzzzz.

You know When You're Slightly Giddy

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you get slightly giddy when students change their facebook profile photos and use a shot you took!  

And a Thanksgiving bonus:  You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you realize you also spend the entire weekend on a retreat doing many amazing, valuable, life changing things-like braiding hair, resolving conflict, taking photos, bandaging boo-boo's, painting nails, driving, asking a million questions--and don't end up in any photos to show you were there or doing anything at all, so you a take a photo with another lady staff who also worked really hard loving on students that weekend and didn't get in any photos and  to finish, you can't seem to keep a reasonable face after 10 hours of total sleep so you the photo you tried hard to get in to won't make any youth slide shows anyway. (I'm on the left) OH well. ;) It's the memories that last anyway. 

You Know With a Rubber Chicken

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when your hubby can find a rubber chicken without any trouble.

My husband slipped out of church to prepare for youth group and as he left,I whispered to him, "For the games I will need two white boards, two markers and the rubber chicken." He replied, "I know right where the chicken is."

You Know With a Mickle

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you expand your vocabulary.

Last night was a 5th Quarter Party at our house. It's a gathering for the high school students after the home football game.  Last night we played a great game called "Wise and Otherwise". It's similar to "Boulderdash" except it uses obscure phrases.  I learned "mickle" and "muckle."  Who knew those were real words!?!? 
Some words I have to 'google' when I see things on facebook and then I am totally scarred for life.  But usually it's all fun and I'm glad to keep learning!

mick·le

ˈmikəl/

SCOTTISHNORTHERN ENGLISHarchaic

noun

1. 1.

   a large amount.

adjective

1. 1.

   very large.

   "she had a great big elephant … that's one of those mickle beasts from Africa"

determiner & pronoun

1. 1.

   much; a large amount.
2. 
   

And many mickle make a muckle!

You Know with "That's Nice."

This just happened.

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he tells you, "I just picked up some raccoon poop from the back yard for an object lesson tonight." And you reply nonchalantly, "That's nice."

True story.

You Know When you Rummage

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when 'hand-me-down's' are tempting.

My JH age daughter got her first bag of 'hand-me-down' clothes from one of our HS students.  It was full of cute tops, dresses, jackets and sweatshirts!

A few items were too big for her and I must admit I did try a sweater on--but I didn't keep it  My daughter told me I was 'too old' to wear something so sparkly.

I'm liking this 'hand-me-down' thing--now, if only they were for me.

 

You Know When You Shoot

You know you're a youth pastor's wife when half of the photos on your computer/phone/camera are of youth ministry students and events.

As I was cleaning out photos on the laptop, I came across a series of photographs that I took of my feet.  A few months back, our youth ministry held a sweatshirt design competition.  The winning student's design featured an image of a pair of Converse shoes.  I was concerned about copyright laws and thought it would be best if I created our own image to use on the sweatshirt.  So, I laced up my Converse, grabbed my camera and started shooting!  About 30 photos later, I finally had 'the one.'  Now that the sweatshirts have successfully been printed and are currently being worn, I figured it was safe to clear off the unused images...now to have the courage to tackle youth photos from 2002. 

Here's the keeper:

Wearing the hoodie 1 mile inside a cave on the HS Senior Class Retreat--dear hubby and I)

My sweet daughter modeling the design

Thanks to Ty B. for the awesome design, to Justin E. for fine tuning/graphic design and Ben B. for the printing!

You Know When they say "I Do."

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you only attend 6 weddings in a season and remember the year you got invited to 15!

You Know When You have Your Own Voice

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he gets sick, you teach his lessons at youth group, and then discover your own voice.

Recently, Nathan got sick over a weekend.  The bug came on quick Thursday afternoon and didn't leave until Monday. I found myself offering to lead both JH and HS youth groups, so he could stay home to rest and heal.  Both times, I found out he was going to take me up on my offer about an hour before youth group was to begin--he always holds out hope that he can make it!

For the Junior High lesson, I took Nathan's outline that he had prepared and did my best to teach from it.  It went ok.  But, I realized it wasn't a topic that I had any current passion for--I delivered the lesson, filled up the proper amount of time, shared relevant life stories and even used the proper object lesson involving vinegar. I was using my mouth, but his voice to teach from God's word.

When Sunday night came around and I realized Nathan wasn't feeling any better, I volunteered again to share with the students. This time I knew that I needed to share from my heart and not just from his lesson plan.  I was able to use the verses that he had chosen for the night, but I put my own twist on it--from what God had been speaking to me over the past few months.  I would sum it up as, "The darker the world, the brighter we shine." I loved every moment of it (well, after the first few minutes of being very nervous) and I'm thankful I had the opportunity to use his theme, yet have my own voice.

Photo: me and my healthy hubby on last week's HS Mission Trip

You Know When you Promise

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you make promises selectively and seriously. 

As a youth pastor wife, there have only been two promises I have made to young ladies in the youth group.

First Promise and a confession: I think toes are ugly.  So, to help them out, I am a proponent of toe rings.  I wear four. Two on my left foot and two on my right foot.  When students notice them, I tell them that I've been wearing the toe ring since before they were born.  And, that if they decide to wear one and still have it on when they are 21 years old,  they are to come back to town, find me and I'll take them out to lunch!  So far, no one has lasted this long, but I have my hopes up for a few certain girls!

Second Promise:  When I hear that a young lady has a desire to become the wife of a youth pastor, I promise to pray for them to have this desire of their heart realized.  When God moves the heart of a young lady to ministry, I feel it is a very special time and a unique calling that God only gives to a few.  Since being a youth pastor wife requires a youth pastor husband, I promise to pray for her as she lives life and waits to see how God will arrange for the special young man to come across her path.

I've been blessed to see young ladies with this desire meet spouses that have a desire to love and serve the Lord in ministry. I'm currently praying for another young woman and I'm excited to see what God will do!

You Know When You Wear Crushed Velvet

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you wear crushed velvet.

Each year on our HS Spring Retreat, the senior class has a chance to share a few words with the underclassmen. One of the seniors shared about how her mom challenged her to think and ask herself, "Will this matter in 20 years?" She often uses this reminder when dealing with different situations that seem overwhelming at the time. She concluded that most things DON'T matter 20 years from now.

Also, it is tradition to have a "Black Tie Dinner" for the evening meal. As I didn't want to purchase a new dress, I decided to dig through what was lurking in the back of the closet.  I found the dress I wore for my homecoming dance when I was a senior in high school! I thought it would be fun to show the HS girls what was being worn 'way back then.'  Guess how long ago?  Yep...20 years ago!

I shared about bringing my 20 year old dress with this senior girl and we had a laugh and a 'wow' at the connection of the concept of "20 years." 

I can't believe it's been 20 years since I wore that dress. Time flies, right!? When I look at the current students, I realize that even with two decades of fashion changes, not much differes when it comes to how a teenage girl feels on the inside. I struggled with many of the same insecurities, hopes, goals and challenges that they face today.  It's comforting to know that some things that seemed too big and insurmountable for my teenage self have either been solved or faded away with the passing of time. 
I look forward to seeing how God continues to grow and mold the young ladies I spent the weekend with, and I pray that in 20 years from now they will have stories of 'overcoming' to share with me.

And now, some photos for your viewing pleasure. 

My friends and I outside my locker during homecoming week. 

  I couldn't find a photo of me wearing my dress to the homecoming dance (maybe that's what happens when you go without a date...no photos).  But I did wear the dress later that year to a church youth group event.  Here's me with my best friend. Notice we are BOTH wearing velvet.

20 years later, realizing some things don't matter and others really do.

You Know When He's Loved

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he's loved by other women.  You know when he's surrounded by beautiful ladies and you are not jealous, but thankful for each of them!

You Know When He Lies

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you're playing the "Liar" card game as a family and he's caught every time. He can't lie to save his life!

You Know When You Read

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you read your local weekly paper and it looks like this when you are finished:

Why? Because you are always tearing out articles that have 'your' kids in them--competing in sports, active in the community and shining in their accomplishments! When you're proud of them and have dear hubby hang them up in the youth room.

You Know When You're Jealous

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you are jealous that he is in church and you are not.

Today I'm jealous of my husband. 

I love church.  I love attending church! I love the people, the encouragement, the challenges, the worship...all of it!  I really don't like to miss church, but here I am. at home. missing church.  Why? Because I've got a child with a fever who needs to stay at home to heal and rest.

One thing I didn't ever consider is that when my husband and I would have a family--I would be the one to stay home every time a child got sick.  There are no taking turns. On a Sunday, I win every who-will-stay-home-with-the-sick-kid-this-time conversation.

I guess this is a good problem to have.  I'm thankful that church is a place I want to be. When I miss the fellowship of believers and community time with God, I'm at the same time thankful that I can care for my little ones...and am a little jealous of my husband.

You know on Date Night

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when....for Valentine's Day you tell him, "All I really want to do for Valentine's Day is to watch (insert name here) in his high school play. It's running this weekend and this is our last chance to see it."  And you do. And it's perfect.

Photo taken from Itemizer Observer and the CHS Thespian booster facebook page.

You Know When He Reads Your Diary

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when he opens his lesson with this statement, "I'm going to be reading to you from my wife's diary tonight....oh, I forgot to check with her....it's ok, right?"
And, you are actually ok with it. :)

When You're Complimented on Your Outfit

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when one compliment by a teenage girl (who was probably 6 years old when you BOUGHT your outfit) tells you she likes your outfit and that she wants to get pants just like yours!
Especially if it's after one of your children tells you, "You look like Jessie, from Toy Story 3...you know, the movie that makes you cry."  
And your other child looks up at you during church and says, "Mom, you look like a train conductor."  Thanks.

source: 

http://www.moviestillsdb.com/movies/toy-story-3-i435761/d63ed3b6

When you Think You've Seen it all

When you're on a Junior High Retreat and you think you've seen it all...and then realize you haven't seen it all.  And when parents/friends/relatives/church members ask you how the retreat went, you don't even bother to explain some of the crazy, sad and amazing things that happen and just say, "it was great! (which it was but no one has time to hear all the details and you feel a bit like Jesus' mother, Mary, where you just store up and treasure these moments in your heart)."

You Know When you Sweat

You know you're the wife of a youth pastor when you play 'Bump' with a group of 7th and 8th grade boys and consider it your exercise for the day.  And when you get second place and feel like you've won a gold medal in the Olympics.